The Universal Language

     I feel like I have the perfect job.  When my third child became school-aged, I started working part-time as an English instructor to adults.  To me, it was an ideal situation because I had the freedom to choose what my availability would be and use my college education as an English major.  Whether I taught on Saturdays when my husband was home or during the week when the kids were in school, I got to know students with native languages of Japanese, Spanish, Farsi, Portuguese, and more.

     It was exciting to be working again after several years home full-time with my children, and it was energizing to train in a completely new career.  Before long, though, I did experience a certain impostor complex  Who was I to instruct these adults, most with far more life experience than I, in such subjects as making travel plans, going on work interviews, making presentations, and handling any number of the bureaucratic travails of a newly arrived foreigner?

     One day, though, in conversation with an older Persian student, the subject of parenting came up.  Immediately the sparkle of connection and understanding lit his eyes.  Despite a language barrier, we completely related.  He laughed as he shared stories of his wife's worries over their rascal sons during the growing-up years.  He looked at me with affection and an increased desire to understand every one of my words when I talked about the personalities and quirks of my growing family.

     I noticed with some of the Spanish-speaking women I taught that the topic of our children would have the same effect.  These students may have handled more situations and challenges in the world, and I may have had the upper hand in knowledge of English language and American culture, but being moms completely leveled the playing field.  My ability to teach English conversation, and their ability to learn it, soared when we made this connection.

     Eventually, I became pregnant with our fourth child and took a few years off from my part-time work.  As my little one approached kindergarten, though, I decided to go back to my job.

     Before long, I found myself teaching a Japanese man and feeling that same impostor complex.  Who was I to teach this worldly professional how to discuss education, resumes, and work experience?  We struggled through it...and then I came to the realization that he has a kindergartener, too.  We bonded over childhood fears, eating habits, and sleep schedules (in our cases, the lack thereof!).  Our level of communication increased exponentially.  I have been able to help him more with kid birthday parties, communicating with teachers, and celebrating American holidays than I was ever able to assist in any of the other areas.  We laugh a lot more, and we are all the more motivated to both teach and understand English.

     I really do have a great job.  And if love is the universal language, parenting is a very common dialect.